Have You Tried these Different Types of Orgasm?

Speaking of orgasms often evokes mixed feelings. On one hand, experts say we shouldn't focus too much on orgasm. On the other hand, everyone talks about how to achieve it — squirting orgasms, G-spot orgasms, full-body orgasms... It can feel confusing to navigate, especially since we're all at different places in our orgasm journey.

Some struggle to have orgasms, others only experience them in certain ways — or only when they're alone. There are many reasons to want to explore your capacity for orgasm. And I believe we should. Because orgasm is ecstasy, and we all deserve more ecstasy in life.

What is an orgasm?

There are many definitions, but one I like describes orgasm as having three components:

1. Pleasure

2. A climax or intensification

3. An altered state of consciousness

   
   

With this definition, more experiences can count as orgasms — not just the "classic" ones. The altered state of consciousness is perhaps the most exhilarating part: the feeling of joy, euphoria, and stillness that follows.

Different types of orgasm

In Daoism, they speak of three gates to women's pleasure – three primary types of orgasm:

💫 Clitoral Orgasm – The Spark of Desire

The first gate is the clitoris – the center of external pleasure. Here our arousal awakens, our fire, and our receptivity to pleasure.

💧 G-Spot Orgasm – Deeper Pleasure

The second gate, the G-spot, leads us deeper into the moment and opens our heart.

🔥 The Cervical Gate – Full Ecstasy

The third and deepest gate is the cervix – the seat of creation. When this gate is awakened, orgasm becomes a spiritual experience where a woman can feel at one with the universe.

Many women only experience clitoral orgasms and therefore miss out on the more powerful vaginal orgasms. And yes – cervical orgasms exist! Pain in that area is often about the body not being ready, or penetration that happened too quickly.

Squirting

Fountain orgasms have become somewhat mythologized, as it’s not very common to have experienced them. They usually occur when we are extremely relaxed, feel safe, and receive ample stimulation of the G-spot. The fluid that is expelled comes from the female prostate, mixed with small amounts of urine, as it passes through the urethra.

The sensation of a fountain orgasm is often described as a total obliteration—in a positive way. A complete letting go, leaving behind a feeling of, “What just happened?”

start releasing tension in your vagina

Many women carry tension in their vagina – often after having had sex without full presence, or when things moved too fast. The vagina protects itself by shutting down sensation, which causes us to lose contact with our full capacity for pleasure.

You can begin to release these tensions by bringing present touch to your vulva. Try doing acupressure on external and internal points, and pause when you find areas that feel tender or shut down. Emotions may surface – let them. It's part of the healing.

there are more orgasms to be had

When you begin to open up to more sensitivity, orgasms can flow freely. The focus on individual climaxes disappears and instead long waves of pleasure arise. In tantra, we also speak of:

💗 Heartgasm – the heart explodes in ecstasy.

⚡ Full-Body Orgasm – the entire body vibrates in pleasure.

🔮 Throatgasm – when ecstasy is awakened through sound, breathing, or penetration in the throat.

Yes, your entire body can become a source of orgasm. And this isn't reserved for a select few – it's available to everyone. It just requires presence, practice, and willingness to explore.

Are you curious about developing your capacity for pleasure and orgasm? Book a free 30-minute consultation, and we'll talk about your unique situation and how I can support you on your journey toward more pleasure and orgasmic energy.

Low Libido? Don't Make This Mistake

Having low libido in a relationship is very common – especially in long-term partnerships. Not because it has to be that way, but because many couples end up there without really understanding what happened.

We were so hot in the beginning – and now I'd much rather watch Netflix than have sex with my partner.

If you're experiencing a loss of libido or lack of sexual desire, there are several common reasons. Here are some of the most common ones:

1. Your Dynamic Affects Sexual Desire

Do you have unresolved conflicts between you? That creates invisible walls, and it's a completely healthy response not to want sex with someone who has made you angry or sad – especially if there hasn't been any repair around what's bothering you.

2. Lost Connection to Your Own Sensuality

It's easy to get stuck on the hamster wheel with work, kids, exercise, and obligations – where there's no space to just be and enjoy life. Many of us have even lost the ability to relax.

When a some free time appears, we tend to compulsively fill it with scrolling or other distractions.

Remember: it's not your partner's responsibility to turn you on. We all have our own sexuality, our own flame, that we need to keep alive by enjoying life as a whole. When we're turned on by life, sexual arousal is never far away.

Think of the difference between trying to get an ice block to boil – compared to a pot that's already simmering.

3. Physiological Causes of Low Libido

If you have a good dynamic and you're in touch with your sensuality, but still experience loss of libido, it may be about physiological factors.

Common causes include:

• hormonal imbalances

• underlying diseases

• certain medications (especially SSRI antidepressants)

• hormonal contraceptives

• hormonal changes like menopause

All of these can significantly affect your sexual desire.

a Big Mistake When You Have Low Libido

A common strategy in relationships where one partner has decreased libido is to "go along with" sex for the sake of peace. This has been normalized – but please, don't do it.

Why?

• Going along with sex you don't want is a betrayal of your body.

• You start associating sex with discomfort, which lowers your desire even more.

• You can develop resistance and even contempt toward your partner, even if you're not physically forced.

• The body can create physical blockages: if you're a woman, your pelvis can shut down sensation as protection. It can take a long time and work – for example through dearmouring – to regain full pleasure.

Your Body knows

You may already have some thoughts about why you've lost your libido. I want to remind you: your body is completely adequate in its response.

In most cases, there's a good reason why you no longer feel the same sexual desire – and it's worth taking seriously.

Want Help Finding Your Way Back to turn on?

If you want to explore your unique situation, you can book a free 30-minute session with me. We'll start by finding your way back to yourself and your own desire – that's the first step toward also regaining desire in your relationship.

Have you lost the passion in your marriage? Do I have to choose between safety and passion?

There’s a common belief that passion dies in a relationship after the initial honeymoon phase. That you have to settle for lukewarm sex, low desire, or a sex life that doesn’t work anymore. And yes, that often happens if you enter the relationship in an “unconscious” way and just hope for the best.

But if you set the intention to keep meeting each other’s emotional needs, neither the spark nor the sex drive has to fade. On the contrary – passion can grow and deepen.

Why the spark often fades in long-term relationships

Think about what happens when the so-called honeymoon phase starts to wear off – usually 6 months to a year in. You begin to bump into each other’s triggers and shadow sides. How you handle these moments will determine whether your intimacy and attraction deepen – or whether disappointments and distance start building walls between you.

When low sex drive and lack of intimacy sneak in

Many couples go through periods of low sex drive, lack of passion, or even feeling no attraction to each other. It’s easy to interpret that as love fading, but often it’s about unresolved emotions and emotional distance in the relationship.

Safety and passion can coexist

The kind of passion that lasts in a long-term relationship isn’t built on insecurity or drama. It’s built on dropping all masks, being able to show your authentic self, and being admired and loved exactly as you are. Letting your vulnerability be the spark that ignites the fire.

Allowing everything to be part of your relationship and your intimacy – even grief, anger, or rawness – leads to deeper closeness. We’re not really used to that, are we? Movies and culture have taught us that sex should always look a certain way – polished, predictable.

But if you’re going to express your whole self, there has to be a sense of safety in knowing you’ll be received well. That’s the connection between safety and passion, when they exist together.

I show ALL of me and feel safe knowing that you love and accept me – so I want to reveal even more of myself. My rawness, my sorrow, my desire. EVERYTHING. Isn’t that passion?

How to rekindle intimacy and bring the spark back

So what do you do if you’re in a relationship where you’ve let things come between you and passion feels lost? Or when your sex life isn’t working anymore? The good news is that if both partners are motivated, you can start untangling the emotional knots that block intimacy and attraction.

You can build trust in knowing your partner is there for you when things get rough – that you can reveal all of yourself and still be loved. And that’s work worth investing time and energy in.

A relationship where safety and passion live side by side

There’s nothing better than being in a relationship where safety and passion coexist. It’s both the foundation you fall back on – and the spice on top of life.

And this is exactly what I help couples with! Click here to “Book a free Clarity Call” to learn more about how I can support you in finding your way back to each other.