Low Libido? Don't Make This Mistake

Having low libido in a relationship is very common – especially in long-term partnerships. Not because it has to be that way, but because many couples end up there without really understanding what happened.

We were so hot in the beginning – and now I'd much rather watch Netflix than have sex with my partner.

If you're experiencing a loss of libido or lack of sexual desire, there are several common reasons. Here are some of the most common ones:

1. Your Dynamic Affects Sexual Desire

Do you have unresolved conflicts between you? That creates invisible walls, and it's a completely healthy response not to want sex with someone who has made you angry or sad – especially if there hasn't been any repair around what's bothering you.

2. Lost Connection to Your Own Sensuality

It's easy to get stuck on the hamster wheel with work, kids, exercise, and obligations – where there's no space to just be and enjoy life. Many of us have even lost the ability to relax.

When a some free time appears, we tend to compulsively fill it with scrolling or other distractions.

Remember: it's not your partner's responsibility to turn you on. We all have our own sexuality, our own flame, that we need to keep alive by enjoying life as a whole. When we're turned on by life, sexual arousal is never far away.

Think of the difference between trying to get an ice block to boil – compared to a pot that's already simmering.

3. Physiological Causes of Low Libido

If you have a good dynamic and you're in touch with your sensuality, but still experience loss of libido, it may be about physiological factors.

Common causes include:

• hormonal imbalances

• underlying diseases

• certain medications (especially SSRI antidepressants)

• hormonal contraceptives

• hormonal changes like menopause

All of these can significantly affect your sexual desire.

a Big Mistake When You Have Low Libido

A common strategy in relationships where one partner has decreased libido is to "go along with" sex for the sake of peace. This has been normalized – but please, don't do it.

Why?

• Going along with sex you don't want is a betrayal of your body.

• You start associating sex with discomfort, which lowers your desire even more.

• You can develop resistance and even contempt toward your partner, even if you're not physically forced.

• The body can create physical blockages: if you're a woman, your pelvis can shut down sensation as protection. It can take a long time and work – for example through dearmouring – to regain full pleasure.

Your Body knows

You may already have some thoughts about why you've lost your libido. I want to remind you: your body is completely adequate in its response.

In most cases, there's a good reason why you no longer feel the same sexual desire – and it's worth taking seriously.

Want Help Finding Your Way Back to turn on?

If you want to explore your unique situation, you can book a free 30-minute session with me. We'll start by finding your way back to yourself and your own desire – that's the first step toward also regaining desire in your relationship.