Should I Stay or Go? When Is It Time to Leave?

Sometimes we reach a point in a relationship where the question emerges:

"Should I stay in this relationship – or is it time to move on?"

"Is there something better waiting for me out there?"

"Is this the life I want to live – or am I holding onto something that doesn't make me happy?"

It's completely natural to ask yourself these questions. Some of us don't even dare to think the thought through completely, but have come to accept a life in a relationship that doesn't give energy, but rather creates the feeling of being stuck.

The myth that all relationships get worse over time

Look around you: how many couples who have been together for a long time seem genuinely happy together? Many have accepted the idea that "this is how it becomes in all relationships after a while".

But the truth is that it doesn't have to be that way.

Relationships don't get worse with time – they get worse when small irritations, misunderstandings, and unexpressed feelings are allowed to remain and grow into walls between you.

The couples who manage to keep love alive are not those who never encounter problems, but those who:

• address misunderstandings and conflicts in real time

• continue to show appreciation

• nourish the relationship with closeness, intimacy, and small gestures of love

When is it time to leave a relationship?

That question has no simple answer – but there are certain signs. It's often not about being angry, triggered, or in conflict, but rather about a quiet clarity:

• You can see your dynamic and your own role in it, and conclude that you are no longer a good match.

• Who you are today, and who your partner is today, no longer aligns in a way that makes you both happy.

• You realize that the criteria you once chose your partner on are no longer relevant.

• You have grown and developed, but the relationship hasn't kept up.

Leaving is never easy. It raises questions and fears: "Will I manage financially?" "Will I ever meet someone new?" "What will friends and family say?" "What about the kids?"

It's human to feel that fear – because we all seek safety, belonging, and love. But you don't get a golden medal for staying in a relationship that doesn't make you happy.

Checklist: Signs that your relationship might be over

• You fantasize about what life would be like without your partner – and feel relief at the thought

• You feel more alive and like yourself when your partner isn't home

• You mostly talk about practical things but rarely about feelings, dreams, or your relationship

• You've stopped trying to change the dynamic – you've accepted that "this is just how it is"

• You feel lonely even when you're together

• Future plans feel heavy or unrealistic when they include both of you

• You stay mostly out of habit, fear, or practical reasons – not because you long to be together

• The respect you once felt for your partner has been eroded

How do you know if you should get divorced?

If you recognize yourself in several of these points, it might be time to pause and reflect. But recognizing yourself in the list doesn't automatically mean that separation is the only way forward. Some important questions to ask yourself:

Have we really tried? Have you both made a genuine effort to improve the relationship with couples therapy, open conversations, or concrete changes?

Is it temporary or permanent? Are you going through a stressful period (small children, unemployment, illness) or is this your normal dynamic?

What does my gut feeling say? Beyond all reflection – what does your intuition say when you're completely honest with yourself?

Next steps

Considering separation or divorce is not a failure – it's a sign that you long for a life in greater harmony, with more closeness, intimacy, and joy.

If you're standing at this crossroads, you don't have to go through it alone. I offer sessions where we can explore your thoughts and feelings and create clarity about what's the right path for you.

👉 Book a session here